stiffsmith

Before you take her away, promise to remember these things..

Sleep on the right side of the bed, she falls asleep best on the left.
That’s her side. It always will be.

Make sure you always have fresh avocado at the house, she likes to make her own guac even if she adds a little too much salt sometimes.
Smile and eat it anyway

Hold her hand, even though she says she hates holding hands.

Don’t bother her when she’s getting ready, sit and admire her as she touches up each lash with mascara.
You’ll love the way it makes her grey eyes stand out

When she can’t decide what she wants to eat, have her name 3 places. The first one she names is the one she wants the most.

She will find the perfect spot to lay her head in your armpit, always wear deodorant. You’ll want her favorite place to smell nice.

When she’s mad let her breathe.
Don’t smother her, she’ll come around. But please try to never make her mad

Lay behind her at night and watch the way she falls asleep. I promise you’ll never sleep more peaceful than after you see that

Hold her close from behind, but don’t put too much weight on her because she’ll wake up with a sore back.. But if you must cling to her that tight I understand, rub her sore back the next morning.

Kiss her forehead any chance you get. There’s no better feeling in the world than that split second

Any time she hugs you, you’ll soon take notice of the scent right behind her ears. No other smell will ever make you feel more at home.
Hug her any chance you can

Talk to her mother, any opportunity you get. You’ll never get tired of hearing the same stories over and over again.
I know them all.

Respect her as much as her father, you’ll never compare to the love she has for him. But you will learn a thing or two about loving her from him. Pay attention

Always forgive her. Sometimes she can’t control her tongue when she’s mad, but it’s not her fault. Tell her it’s okay

Under the covers her toes will freeze you to the bone, but her breath on your chest will burn you up quicker than the sun. Don’t wear socks under the sheets

Love her. Regardless
Put her above all. Always
Never stop reminding her that she is your entire world.

Please remember these things.
I could only hope for her heart to be in the best hands, mine have become rough and rugged.

Her flames will burn you straight to the core. But I promise the second you taste her, you’ll never want anything more.

Please remember these things.

Before you take her away, just know she is much too free to ever stay.

before you take her away (stiffsmith)
itzonlyyoubabe

To the boy I’ll always love,

It’s been a while since we last talked. It’s been two months now, to be exact. But who’s counting, right? I’m not sure why I’m writing you this letter when I know you’ll never actually read it but I guess I just want closure, you know? And I feel like this is it.

I miss you, that’s the first thing I need you to know. All those memories we made, they mean everything to me and it cuts vein-deep to know we’ll never make more of them… they had to mean something to you too, right? I’m not going crazy? You actually liked having me around, right? I don’t even know what to believe anymore, honestly.

But what I do know is that I miss you.

How we first started talking in Algebra class and how we’d get in trouble because we were talking too much. The time when I stayed for football practice and the smell of fresh cut grass that was in the air when you hugged me for the first time. Or how we sat together and laughed for what seemed like forever during lunch on the last week of school. One of my favorite memories is Valentine’s Day. You remember that day? God, how could you possibly forget? I still have everything you gave me in my room, you know? I can’t even begin to process the thought of throwing it all away.

Everyone tells me that I should just forget you. So many more ask me why it is I still bother to give you the time of day when all you do is hurt me, and I always tell them that I don’t know. Isn’t that when you know you’re in love? When you don’t know why it’s so hard to forget them, but it just is? God, but how can I love you when we never even dated? I just can’t comprehend that…

I have good days and bad days when it comes to thinking of you. Somedays I smile and think of the way you’d come to school with your new ridiculous haircuts, other days I can’t help but cry in the shower so my family won’t know how broken you left me that summer day.

Life without you… it actually isn’t as hard as I thought it would be. That has to be a good sign, I know it. I’m getting by and I can actually go out and have fun every once in a while without thinking of your hands or your black jeans or how you’d walk in front of me on your way to second period.

I even started to talk to someone. He was great, and he could make me laugh, and the best part of it all was that he didn’t have your smile or eyes. He wasn’t you and it made me believe that maybe I didn’t need you as much as I thought I did. But you know what? He couldn’t replace the memories you already gave me. He’s amazing and any girl out there could easily learn to love him if they gave him the proper time of day, but no one will ever be able to compete with the way you left me feeling every time you’d smile a goodbye at me.

People tell me that moving on comes with time, but the thing is, I’m not even sure I want to forget everything you gave me. You took pieces of me I didn’t even know I had and I have no fucking idea how to get them back. I know you don’t even care and this is probably a waste of my time but if I don’t say this now, it’ll burn into my lungs until I find the guts to think of it again. I’m not sure why it is we drifted but if there’s anything I regret in this life, it’s letting you go so easily when all I wanted to do was try and make it right with you.

I’ve written so many things about you, so many poems and letters and it hurts to know that I have to write about you just to make sure the broken parts of me don’t make me fade the way you did. I fucking hate not having you around anymore but it is what it is… Just - just know that I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t enough to keep you with me.

I watched you walk away that afternoon on the 4th of June, watched you until you were no longer there. You were wearing the shirt you wore on Valentine’s Day. And those stupid Adidas that you would wear everyday but I absolutely adored them. You didn’t even glance back. All I wanted was to get a last look at you before you were no longer in my life anymore because I knew then what that moment was. It was my one-sided goodbye. A goodbye you didn’t have to go through. I just wanted more time - that’s all I wanted. I wanted more pictures, more laughs, more words, more memories. I wanted more of you.

I’m so sorry for being so selfish. But I understand now that you were never mine and you never fucking will be. I saw the way you used to look at that one girl during lunch. Maybe you’ll give her a chance one day - a chance you never gave me. Find someone to commit to, darling. Make sure she doesn’t break your heart. Don’t fall in love just to get hurt, please. Find a girl who’ll love you the way I did. Find a girl who’ll love you even more.

I have no idea where you are at the moment. Maybe you’re at home playing video games, maybe you’re out in Italy exploring the world or maybe you’re at the park walking your Chocolate Labrador. It doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing, but don’t you ever forget that I’ll be thinking about you and wondering if you’re thinking about me too, even for the slightest second.

But I’m done writing about you, honey. I can’t write about you forever. I’m done with it all. I know you are too. But forgetting you… how does one do that? How do I forget all the love songs that remind me of you now? How do I get the sound of your voice out of my aching, swollen veins? How did you forget me? Teach me how to forget you, please, I can’t take it anymore.

I fucking hate you so much, you fucking know that? I’m angry and sad and frustrated and pissed off all because of you. You’re nothing but a fucking boy who needs to grow up and I hope no one ever treats you the way you treated me, you shit.

I don’t even know what emotion to feel anymore. I-I’m so tired of screaming at my bedroom walls and wailing for you to come back. You killed me that afternoon and I don’t know how to forgive you for it anymore. I can’t hate you, I can’t love you, so what can I fucking do?

I can’t-…

Just - can this be our proper goodbye? Something I can remember without it bringing the most bitter taste to my throat? You make it through life, babe. Make something of yourself, succeed.

But think of me from time to time, yeah? Don’t let me fade. Keep me there when you think no one loves you.

Know I’ll always love you, even if I’m in the arms of someone else. They won’t ever be able to erase what you left me with.

I’m sorry this is so long and lengthy but I just really needed you to know this; I can’t walk away now without having you know what it is I felt for you and how I felt when you dropped me.

I hate having to finally say this and actually mean it now, but… goodbye.

You’ll be okay, I know. You’ve always been the strongest of us too and I’ve always hated you for it.

I’m done holding on.

From, the girl who has nothing left to say

August 4, 2014 (via itzonlyyoubabe)
h0pefulkid-withaninkedupheart
I want you. I want to throw you against a wall, wrap your legs around my waist and kiss you. Kiss you until we have to stop to catch our breaths. I want you and only you. I want to take you on road trips that lead us to pulling over on the side of the road because we can’t keep our hands off each other. I want you and your flaws. I want your messy makeup from teary eyes as I hold you and talk to you about life. I want the 3am phone calls because you can’t sleep at night. I want to be yours and only yours. I want to taste all your cooking, even if it’s not good, even if it’s experimenting I’d have you cook every meal for the rest of my life. I want you. I want my trembling hands to grab your waist and dance with you in the middle of an empty room. I want to struggle on days when I can’t see you. I want to fight about meaningless stuff that will lead to meaningful sex. I want you. I want your hand to rest on my forearm as we enter a party, so I can reassure you that you are safe with me. I want to sing to you in the shower and have you shut me up with kisses because we both know I’m no singer. I want the ups and downs, the winter and summer days. I want you and only you…
what I’m too afraid to say (via h0pefulkid-withaninkedupheart)
sunraysandsunbands-deactivated2
Growing up I thought being in love was red roses, dates on Saturday nights, pretty jewelry, Friday night movie premiers, kisses in the rain, and boxes that held expensive things. I thought true love was a story with a picture perfect ending. Now that I’m older I’ve realized it’s not that at all. True love isn’t something you find in a Disney movie. Being in love is screaming at 5 AM till you cry out of anger, but knowing they won’t leave. It’s saving each other’s selfies, good or bad, just to look at them because you miss each other. It’s being comfortable enough to talk about anything. It’s saying all the wrong things at the wrong moments. It’s leaving someone in complete control of your heart, but trusting them not to break you. It’s screaming the lyrics to your favorite songs together. It’s honesty even when it hurts and sarcasm when they’re sad. It’s lame jokes and sleepless nights. It’s fights and make up sex. It’s hour long showers and breakfast in the morning. It’s all night phone calls instead of texting. It’s the small things. It’s coffee shop dates and finding new books to read. It’s holding hands and kissing ever so passionately. It’s being able to sit at home just basking in the presence of someone you love with every fiber of your being. It’s wanting to share every moment with that one person. It’s finding yourself awake at 3 AM craving them asleep next to you. It’s little nick names and making fun of each other. It’s being called things like ‘little shit’ or ‘baby’ or ‘love of my life.’ It’s being able to fall asleep knowing that person will still be there in the morning. It’s being apart and knowing nothing will change. It’s deep talks at 6 AM. It’s days full of laughter and tears. It’s capturing the world’s beauty though their eyes. It’s not about the sex or the gifts, it’s about finding someone who pours their love into your deepest cracks making you whole once again. It’s feeling part of you missing when you’re apart. It’s finally being able to love yourself even half as much as that person loves you. Love is the only thing left in the world worth fighting for. Don’t you dare settle for a boy who makes you feel good for a night, or a girl who boosts your ego at a party. Mindfucking love is the holy grail of all love. Being in love will fuck you up in more ways than you can imagine and it’s absolutely fucking heart-wrenching, but at the same time it’s the most beautiful thing in the world.

3AM Thoughts" series #4 (via unpoeticheartbreak)

Yes.

(via niiniixx)

sunraysandsunbands-deactivated2

I am not an easy person to love. Some days I will whisper how beautiful you are while planting gentle kisses all over your body. You will giggle and try to fight me off and in that moment my heart will have never felt so light.

But other days when my mind is a storm cloud threatening to explode, I will be a bundle of emotions that I cannot quite keep contained. I will be cold, distant, and you will look at me like I am not the same person you fell in love with.

I am a broken light switch. My moods flicker without anyone flipping me on and off. I wake up each morning and wonder which me you will encounter that day. I always hope it is the one who makes you want to stick around.

I am not easy to love. But what I need you to understand is that whether there is a war raging inside of my mind or I am the kind person that you adore, I will always love you.

I will love you in the morning. I will love you when you cry. I will love you when I am angry. I will love you when you’re being stubborn. I will love you when I don’t even love myself. I will love you.

I know that there will be days when you want to give up on me but I am asking you, please don’t. You see, you are the only one who has been able to settle the storm inside of me before I even realize it is surfacing.

I am not easy to love but I promise that I will always put up a fight. And I will love you no matter which me my light switch flips on that day.

letsdoit-totellthestory

I keep writing about you. They tell me my words are beautiful. I don’t know why. Maybe because they’re written for you. You’re beautiful but what they don’t know—what you don’t know—is I stare at this blank fucking paper and all I feel is rage anger and frustration because I write down these things and it never comes close to what I feel. If actions could be translated into words, I would write me shouting in my fucking car because your favorite song came up on my god damned pandora station again. I would write me standing in the shower while the scolding water burns my skin as I try to think of the exact moment I lost you. Then I would write me shutting off the water in total defeat because I realized I never even had you. I would write how a fire starts in my chest whenever I see a picture of you and her. I’ve never envied a stranger so much before. I would write how my eyes burn as I continue to stare at the god damned ceiling at 3am missing you. Being up that late was only fun when you were around.
I wish you were still around.
I don’t even know how to fucking end this. There’s no poetic way to say I feel like fucking shit.

I keep writing about you. They tell me my words are beautiful. I don’t know why. Maybe because they’re written for you. You’re beautiful but what they don’t know—what you don’t know—is I stare at this blank fucking paper and all I feel is rage anger and frustration because I write down these things and it never comes close to what I feel. If actions could be translated into words, I would write me shouting in my fucking car because your favorite song came up on my god damned pandora station again. I would write me standing in the shower while the scolding water burns my skin as I try to think of the exact moment I lost you. Then I would write me shutting off the water in total defeat because I realized I never even had you. I would write how a fire starts in my chest whenever I see a picture of you and her. I’ve never envied a stranger so much before. I would write how my eyes burn as I continue to stare at the god damned ceiling at 3am missing you. Being up that late was only fun when you were around.

I wish you were still around.

I don’t even know how to fucking end this. There’s no poetic way to say I feel like fucking shit.